I would be a bird someday

The puppeteer told me this is just a play, 

You are a doc today and would be a bird some day,

He told me just smile and sway with the strands as they may

I did as he said and sang by the tunes of the game,

The audience applauded and cheered loud making me red with shame,

Oh my lord, how beautiful it was all,

The song, the music , the story that i lived,

I came home happy and went back eagerly the next day, and next and next and day by day

Oh the praises made me walk with pride, made me love what i did and smile and cry through it all

But days passed and I danced to those tied strands,

And days passed and my smile just grew with the colored bands

I smiled when I was sad, and cried when i was happy, because that was the puppeteer's stand

And on and on I danced and swayed, those ties and bonds were all the same

That audience went away and those strangers got lame,

And soon I realized it wasn’t even my game,

Because the puppeteer told me its just a play,

Today  I am a doc and I would be a bird some day...

To break those strands and fly off this cage,

Today I am a doc, but I hope to be a bird some day...

Ek ehsaas.. Ek intezaar hai

Is umar ka bas ab lihaaz hai..
aakhri palon ka maano intezaar hai..
Ulti ginati shuru kar chuke kayin baar.. Chal rahi phir bhi yeh saans hai..

yeh ek ehsaas hai... ek intezaar hai.. 

Harr khabar jab aati thi.. 

Jab apna koi  chala jaata tha..
Mann hi Mann main taiyaar ho jaati thi..
is samay ke intekaam ke parinaam ka intezaar tha... 

Ek bistar hai bas mera ab.. Bas uspe hi din guzarta hai.. 

Kisi apne ki aawaz ke liye.. yeh kaan har pal tarasta hai.
Harr kisi se milne mein. Aisa ehsaas se aata hai..
Ki kaid karlo is lamhe KO.. Shayad yeh aakhri mulakat ka afsana hai..

Ab bas intezaar hai.. Ek aisa ehsaas hai..

samay kat ta hai dargaaz ki pukar se, un lamho ki yaad se,

bachpan ki sharat ki khilwaad se, 

pita ki daant , maa ki puchkaar se , 

unse pehli nazar ke pyaar se, us roothne manane ke ehsaas se, 

bachon ke pehle kadam, unki sharata shikayat se, 

pota poti ki khilkhalti cheh cha ahat se.. 

un choti badi khushiyon ke pal se.. 

nikal jaate hain din, is yaadon ke gharondhe se

khauf ke woh pal bhi peecha nahi chodte, 

jab bachpan mein garam tel se jal chuke the,

jab 14 ki umar mein sasural chal diye the ,

kuch saal bhar mein ek naye jeevan ki duniya ban chuke the...

angrezon ke zamane mein tel chura kar becha karte the, 

laathi khate the, par jeena jaante the, 

jab nau mahine ke baad, apne haath mein maara bachcha paate the..

sab dekh kar bhi aage badh gaye the.. 

jiske liye sab kiya woh hi akela chod gaye the.. 

khidki ke bahar suraj ugta hai.. phir doob jaata hai..

har din aata hai, ab kuch naya nahi laata hai..

sab badal gaya in nabbhe saalon mein..

phir bhi kisi chahne wale ka kalaam nahi aaya hai...

nahi samajhoge tum naujawaan logon, bahut dard chupa hai, hain chupi bahut khushiyaan.

hain jiya humne bhi samay, sirf tumse hi nahi hai duniya..

sab pal jo jee chuke hum, bas ek ehsaas reh gaye hain...

bache hue pal bas ek intezaar reh gaye hain.... 

Ruk Jaa Ae Rahi..

Kuch ajab sa, kuch alag sa, kohra hai faila charon aur,

Khoye se hue hain hume sabhi, sab hai par chahiye kuch aur,

Na hosh hai raftaar ka; na soch apni, na raasta

Beh rahein anjaan laharon sang, chahe ho khud se hi faasla.

Hum pehle nahi hain is raaste pe, kho chuke hain kafi musafir,

Chal to diye the josh josh mein, bhool gaye laut na payenge hum phir,

Woh bachpane ki bhool chook thi, aaj paribhasha nayi hai,

Jo kal galat tha, aaj shauk hai, kal ki aadat ki kali hai.

Kahaan se chale the, kahaan rukenge, bas itna soch ke kuch, ruk gaye hain,

Jahaan se chale the, lautenge wahi, jo naa ruke toh kya laut sakte hain ??

Kathin safar tab lagta tha, jab sahi galat ki soch liye the,

Aaj saup chuke hain doosron ko dor apni, bas katputli ban ke reh gaye hain

Ruk jaa aiye musafir abhi bhi keh rahi hun,

Raaste ko naa, par manzil ko dekh tu,

Lalchate dil ko tham ab tu, dhoond khoye khud ko hi tu,

Der abhi bhi na hui hai, hai kahin tujhe mein chupa tu…

Ruk jaa ae rahi keh rahi hun…

Khud mein khud ko dhoond le tu..

Far away in that night..

She sat on the beach, but her pain was much deeper than the sea

The waves the moonlight, looked just as in her dreams

But this wasn't a dream but a nightmare of silent screams

Today she had lost something or someone that was hers

Far away in that night alone she sat and fought all fears.

They had told her it’s OK; they had told her its fine

They had told her it would be a new day and the sun would again rise and shine

She had shared that pain, she had expressed her fears

She had cried it out, but her eyes were still filled with tears

They had told her to fight; they had told her what’s wrong what’s right

Thinking of all those old days when she was young and bright

Far away in that night she sat alone and cried.

The wind was cold but she didn't feel it

I came to close but she didn't see me

I sat by her side and squeezed her hand.

She looked at me and said was this what god had planned

I didn't have words; she didn't need them either

I gave her a hug and told her give it time

But time was what we needed to forget and let it be bygone

But she had to live with the dreading nightmare, of being forced by a gender much too strong.

Far away that night she was the only one who heard her cries for help

Far away in that night she was only one who hoped to be dead

Far away that night she was the only one who asked ‘Y me?'

Far away that night.. she was alone living her worst fears.

And far away tonight she sits alone with a stranger.

She smile sometimes, but I know her pain is going to stay

Doctors said she would be fine, after all that’s all they could say

Justice might have not been done in court, but I know god has his own ways

Today another girl was raped, and media again reported it like a play.

All I remember is that I lost my little daughter, ten years back on this very day.

Khabar

Kashish thi hawaon mein kuch nayi si aaj,

Armaan kuch hasin se the aaj,

Laga tha mano dil ne nayi pukar di hai,

Kisi ke laut aane ki aahat hui hai aaj

Intezaar ke pal ab kuch hi baaki hain

Kya hoga aagey yeh abhi bhi hai ek raaz…….

                                       

Full khilte dekhe the kaafi dafaa humne

Lekin mano jyada khusboo faila rahe hain darr pe

Pakshi toh pehle bhi chah chahaate the

Lagta hai koi khabar derahe hain woh reh reh ke

Hasi ko pehle bhi lekar hum khade the

Par dil ki khushi aaj hi bayaan karne ruke the

Laga unke aane par foolon ki barsaat karenge

Rangon ki mehfilon mein naye rang hum bhar denge

Woh laga lenge gale humein aur hum kuch na keh sakenge

Kushiyon ki goonj mein unhe ek khushi ab hum de denge……

Kya pata tha safed khafan pe fool bhi bichenge

Rangon ki mehfilein badrang woh kardenge

Gale se lagaya  unhe humne par who kuch bhi naa bole

Sannate ke shor mein yeh aansu bhi kya karlete…………..!!

Sannate ke shor mein yeh aansu bhi kya karlete......... !!! 

I still don't know y i picked up the pen

I sat to write a few words, with no thoughts in my mind

Just wanted to put them all together hoping that they would rhyme..

I did try to express all that I felt, and feel it was all right

I still don’t know why picked up a pen, when I had no thought in my mind

I wanted to paint a whole new world with the little words I had

Just wanted the sky and sea to meet but little did I know the plan

I wanted to write a new nursery rhyme, which kids would hum for years

Or something that was little more real, than the magic and witch’s fear

Or bring in new light to dark of the sea, for the sailors to show them the way

But all I knew was that my few words were mere stories going in vain

I wrote for the one with eyes but no vision, even the old, the poor and the saint

I wrote for the young lad with wounded knees, even the girl who was the victim of a rape

I tried to put in voice for the weak, and also the glory of the stage

All I wanted was to write for me, but couldn’t unscramble all words on a that page

It’s just words for u, few words from me, all I needed to express was me

I still don’t know y picked up a pen, when I haven’t written a word to read……

Just smiling it all away…

Well this is about me, this is about any other person crossing you, giving you a smile, nodding to greet you a good day and holding the smile because she felt good to have made your day. That one smile to a stranger never makes anyone’s day, but for a looser it does…just like for me it does.

      It’s preposterous to call yourself a looser, its too negativistic to blame yourself and believe you can’t prove yourself over anything. Well I have been scolded for this many a times by friends, family and sometimes even foes. It’s like a weakness already served on the silver platter. But I don’t think loosing at anything or precisely everything could ever be that bad.

    Well as I always say…just another face in the crowd, I am truly like any other person with an average score on result sheet, someone who is an audience in dance, someone who is back stage in the shows, someone who is a substitute in a match, someone who is just a friend but nothing more special, someone who is in all pics but in some corner,someone who people just know as a smiling face….a smile without reasons ,occasion or sometimes acquaintance.

           When I look at myself over the years I have changed many times for many reasons. But of all those I could remember, the most prominent has been for the people around me, who I call friends. It’s strange as though the reason has been same but the people have changed and stranger even I can’t even recall all their names and face now. But as they put it, this is all what life is all about .

       So it isn’t always about being the most beautiful of the group or the one who could always be around to listen to your problems and lend you shoulder, it doesn’t need you to be the centre of attraction, it doesn’t need you to be the hot babe, or even have someone asking you out atleast sometime, it doesn’t need you to have people coming to you to ask you doubts during papers, or asking you for  dressing tips when they get together for parties, it’s not always about having atleast someone to be wanted to be clicked in a photograph with. World won’t come down if sometime you are just forgotten or you are at the end where people make fun of you. It’s no issue if your salary is lesser than your friend’s or there are more certificates on your friend’s name. I may not be too good at music or dancing or speaking on stage or screwed up at sports, being good in cooking or handwriting or quick-witted in ideas…..

   But I know one thing about me that inspite of me getting disappointed in all that I lack in or being lost to so much coming my way, it’s too true when he says “every battle must not be fought”. And so I sit at night and realize that of all the things I tried my hand at and didn’t succeed one was something which made my day, it was that smile which I still wore on and it was that smile which I shared with someone to make them realize that you might have messed up a lot but to take a break…..it just takes a smile.

         Some smoke it away, some drink it away, some leave the game just to begin again, some show others down, some just convince themselves that it was it, some criticize, some just maintain keeping themselves busy…..I write it out and share it with the  world, to hide your pains is easy, just needs a lot of efforts until you forget it….to let it out to someone is difficult cause it needs trust.